Don't Call it a Comeback

The last time I wrote in this blog was 2014.

So, so much has changed since then. I've gotten married to the love of my life. I've started an actual career (not just a job) and just celebrated my seven-year mark with the company. I've seen many of my dancers go off to start the next chapter of their lives at college. I've traveled to some of my favorite places - New York City, the Bahamas, New Orleans, and Salem just to name a few. I've lived through (and am currently still living through) a pandemic. And probably the most notable - I've had my wonderful, beautiful, angel baby - Miss Violet Salem. 

It's amazing just how much can change as you look back on the previous chapters of life, and oddly enough, as we are living through those changes, they don't seem as drastic in the moment. There were certain times when the shifts were more noticeable than others, but you sort of ride the ebbs and flows of life as they come and go. There aren't many definitive "moments" where you sit and think "everything has changed."

But, there are some moments like that, and I've had quite a few of those moments in recent months. Having a baby was something that my husband and I planned, but I was incredibly unprepared for the emotional journey that would unfold roughly 8 months after Violet arrived. 

I've written about my anxiety in the past - in this very blog, actually. Back in 2010, I experienced what I refer to as my first "anxious spell" where anxiety really dictated my day-to-day life. Back then, I was trapped in my mind, which constantly swirled with medical diagnoses and a seemingly relentless reminder of my own mortality. I was Googling my symptoms constantly, driving myself further into a rabbit hole of constant panic, worry, fear, and restlessness. My sleeping and appetite were affected, and no matter how hard I tried, I felt as though I couldn't break the cycle of worry > research > panic > breakdown.

I pulled myself out of that hole by getting into running in 2011. What followed was an absolute love affair with a sport that I had previously despised. I was addicted, and I truly look back on those years as some of the best, most confident years of my life. It was around 2014/2015 that I kind of "fell off the wagon" in terms of exercise in general, and when I picked back up again in 2018, I fell for cycling. 

The love affair was quite similar, and I was completely hooked on attending spin classes sometimes 5-7 times a week. Again, I had never looked or felt better, and I was able to handle some pretty stressful scenarios with surprising grace during my "spin addict" days.

2020 obviously changed things, but the introduction of a Peloton into our home helped me stay in shape. When 2021 rolled around, I found out I was pregnant in October, and exercise took an obvious slide. I tried to stay pretty active while pregnant, and while I was able to keep that up for the first 5 months of my pregnancy, I got Covid at the end of March. Covid combined with the general discomfort of pregnancy on my relatively small frame made exercise damn near impossible, so I began to live a pretty sedentary lifestyle for the first time in a very long time.

After Violet was born, I certainly noticed my anxiety was heightened, but I hadn't reached a level of true "concern" just yet. After all, I was a new mom and I knew I had anxious tendencies. I wrote off most of the worrying as normal (even though I had fallen back into the trap of Googling every single thought that crossed my mind). It wasn't until I had woken up in the middle of the night in late January slammed with panic that I realized something was different. It felt eerily similar to how I had felt back in 2010, and I was not loving the nostalgia.

I got an emergency visit with my OB, and she prescribed me Zoloft, told me it was most certainly postpartum, and that we would get me feeling back to myself. I took 2 doses of Zoloft and ended up in the emergency room suffering from quite possibly the worst panic attack I'd ever had (I thought I was having a heart attack, and I drove myself to the ER in an ice storm at 5:30 in the morning... yeah, it was pretty bad). I discontinued the Zoloft and had a rocky couple of weeks. When I emailed my OB again to say that I still wasn't feeling like myself, she wrote in a script for Lexapro. 5 days after the Lexapro, I was back in the ER, this time checking myself into the behavioral health facility for 3 days of inpatient therapy/supervision because clearly my doctor's were just throwing random SSRIs at me (which did NOT agree with me) and I needed the help of an actual mental health professional. After calling multiple therapists and being told the wait was 7+ months, I felt like the ER was my only choice.

I'm glad I went.

Three days away from my family was not fun, and a behavioral health facility is not the Ritz-Carlton by any means, but I was able to see a psychiatrist right away who started me on a medication that would help my sleep and improve my appetite. I also was able to find a therapist that specialized in OCD and anxiety, and got an appointment set up with her for 2 weeks after I checked out of the hospital.

While this all went down about 3 months ago, I still continue to navigate waves of highs and lows. I can confidently say I am in a much, much better place than I was in February when every day I felt scared, alone, uncertain, and hopeless. It's unbelievable to know that people can feel that way even when they are surrounded by a SEA of love, support, happiness, and positivity, but anxiety and depression rob you of your ability to reason and rationalize. There were some days when all I wanted to do was feel normal and happy, and I just couldn't. I loved my life so much, and it felt so unfair that I would be sitting on the couch with my husband as the baby slept beautifully, watching our favorite TV shows, and my heart would be beating out of my chest as my mind raced thinking about how I had no appetite, wouldn't be able to sleep, and tricked my into thinking this was how I would feel forever.

Horrifying, and yet I learned that so many women go through this.

I started to run about 2.5 weeks ago in an attempt to really pull myself over the hump of recovery. I have certainly had many more good days than bad, and now I think I'd even consider my "bad days" as "good days" when I look back on how bad the initial bad days were. I know I'm making progress even though I struggle to see it sometimes, and when I looked around and realized that I was doing a lot of self-deprecating, I knew something had to change.

I thought back on when I felt the most confident, strong, and empowered, and there was one thing that really was a staple in my life during those times - consistent cardio. Whether it was during my running days or my spinning days, I was exercising typically five times a week. And while this would have been difficult to accomplish as I was just healing from delivery, I'm now almost a year out from giving birth. My body is capable again, so it felt like the right time to introduce exercise back into my routine.

Writing has always been an outlet for me, and I enjoy documenting my "journeys" - this one being no exception. I hope that as I continue to stick with this and continue down the path of recovering from postpartum anxiety, someone will read this and it will resonate with them. Maybe this will help to give someone a little nudge in the right direction, because honestly, the "nudge" for me came after going back and reading my initial post talking about how running helped me recover from anxiety the first time.

So cheers to realizing sometimes our biggest hurdle is our own mind, and then simultaneously realizing our greatest power is also our own mind. I know that I am not alone on this journey, I never have been, and that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. And now, I'm getting there even faster thanks to some good old fashioned pavement pounding <3.

Keep Running,

Kel 

Lupus Loop 5k

So last weekend I ran the first 5k of my "season", which I unofficially consider to be September - May. This is the time of year when I like (and need) to run the most, so it only feels natural to kick things off around now.

The Lupus Loop 5k was first on the agenda & I had never run this particular race before. It was held in Station Square here in Pittsburgh and I was pretty surprised at how nice everything was. If you're unfamiliar, Station Square is a little shopping/restaurant area near the river that has been updated fairly recently. It's a nice place to begin with, and the race made it even nicer by having some vendor booths, a huge stage & an organized method of picking up your bib/shirt.

It was kind of an overcast morning and a little bit on the chillier side because of it when I got down there. Of course, that is like PERFECT running weather so I was hoping nothing changed. Unfortunately by the time the race started the sun was all like "PARTY TIME" and the humidity climbed to 642%.

That's the thing about these races in early September in Pittsburgh. You do NOT know what you're going to get. The fact that this race wasn't scheduled to start until 9 was a risk in and of itself. Delaying it another 15 minutes so that they could hold a group "warm up" was not my favorite part. It was only getting hotter/more humid and we were standing in an awkward clump while someone danced around the stage screaming "STEP TOUCH, STEP TOUCH! NOW TO THE RIGHT SIDE!".. I am just not a fan of those organized group warm ups. It's fine if you want to have one like off the side that's optional, because I'm sure some people do enjoy them, but delaying the start time of a race for one is not my cup of tea. 

It was nice that they had a few speakers come out and talk about the purpose of the race (to raise money for lupus research), though. That, I am always up for.

The course itself was really flat because it was along the heritage trail that runs parallel to Station Square. A few parts were at a slight incline, but nothing crazy. You ran past the new Highmark Stadium down there and a little bit through Station Square itself, which you can see above. The only thing I wasn't wild about is the fact that it was an out and back... another out and back... and then repeat the first out and back. I mean, HENCE the name Lupus LOOP - but after the second out and back it was like.. alright. It was also directly along the river with extremely minimal shade, so running away from the sun, then back into the sun, then away from the sun and back into the sun as the humidity filled your lungs did not make for the happiest race on earth. 

To put it lightly, I felt like I ran through a boiling swimming pool when the race was over.

I'm not sure how it was timed previous years, but this one was the dreaded "HOLD ON, STOP RIGHT HERE WHILE I RIP THE BOTTOM PART OF YOUR BIB OFF". The lady who did this to me was doing so in a manner that would have been suitable for delicately trying to tear a piece of bread into the shape of a heart. She was taking her grand old time and I wanted to scream HURRY IT UP LADY OR I'M GONNA PASS OUT ON YOU. I then took the long way to the water booth which added to my post-race "OMG I MIGHT DIE OF HEAT EXHAUSTION" struggle.

But I ended up finishing 5th in my age group with a time of 28:59 which I am classifying as AWESOME due to the conditions.

Now just pray for the humidity to end.

Keep Running,

Kelli

Cross Training: Piloxing

I really have never been one for group fitness classes. I've been a member at LA Fitness for years, and never once have I had the desire to attend any of the classes they offer. Runners are notorious for enjoying their workouts alone, with nobody to bother us. Hell, that's why most runners like running so much. But this past year, I started to get really bored with the gym.

I used to have such a love affair with going to LA Fitness. I could spend literally hours there just running and lifting and making the rotations. But that was also when I had a lot more time than I do now and I was able to go during non-peak hours. These days when I head to the gym, it's more of a "wait in line for a treadmill because it's 6:00 and everyone & their mother is here, run a 5k while getting evil eyes from every one waiting in line behind you, go use the leg press machine for longer than you want to because you're waiting for another machine to open & then go home because it's so crowded and you can't really breathe".

...And that sums up 90% of my gym visits in the last year.

So when one of my old neighbors opened up a fitness studio nearby to where I live, I was intrigued. Sure I had never done anything like this before, but I really needed to start crosstraining again & obviously the gym was not the place to do so. I decided to try a couple classes, but I really fell in love with piloxing.

One of our Saturday classes at Motion on Main

Piloxing is a non-stop cardio fusion of dance, boxing & pilates. I really enjoy fast paced workouts that not only challenge you, but are also fun at the same time. When I leave that class I am POURING (and I do mean POURING) sweat. It helps that Motion on Main's instructor, Amy, is an absolute firecracker who motivates us to push harder class after class and switches things up to keep us interested. After just over a month of taking her classes, I can see a noticeable difference in my muscle tone and strength. Even after going to the gym for years, this is fastest I have ever seen results. It's amazing.

I also really like that piloxing incorporates a lot of balance and ballet techniques into the workout, as well. Core strength is so important, and I feel like it can easily get overlooked in most cardio-based workouts. Piloxing seriously exercises your entire body, which is hard to do if you're just going through the rotations at the gym. I don't think I've ever cross trained this comprehensively, and it's apparent that it's making a difference when I can clearly notice my endurance and strength improving during my runs. If you're serious about running and you're not cross training... Dude. Start.

You also have the option of wearing weighted gloves during class, which I decided to go for after the first few classes. They definitely make a difference and I have to admit, they do make you feel like you have a little bit more purpose behind your punches. I was never a boxing type, and I will admit I felt a little silly the first few classes, but I have definitely built up my confidence and actually feel like I'm starting to get the form down. It's also kind of cool to have upper body strength for the first time in what feels like forever.

So thanks to Amy & the crew at Motion on Main for helping this runner chick crosstrain successfully for the first time in a long time! Dancing and being a badass sure beats waiting in line for chest fly machine, I'll tell ya that much!

Keep running (er.. punching),

Kelli

Highlights from 2014

Hey everyone!

So since my 2014 posts have been *cough* non-existent, I figured that I would post about a few of the races that I have run this year so far to get myself somewhat caught up. My favorites have definitely been the Cherry Blossom 10 miler, the Pittsburgh Half Marathon & the Warrior Dash, so here's some recap action for ya:

The Cherry Blossom 10 Miler: I was really excited to get chosen in the lottery to run this race. If you're unfamiliar, you can't just sign up for this one - you essentially enter yourself into a pool of participants that get chosen at random. I've never run a race through another city, so this was a great change of pace for me and Jim & I actually made a little weekend trip out of which was nice. We stayed with Jim's cousins who live nearby, so that made the whole process a lot easier, too. It was kind of a bummer that none of the cherry blossom trees were in bloom during the run (it was too cold), but it was still neat to run along the monuments and see the sights. For as big as this race was, it was pretty well organized which is always a nice bonus. 

Pittsburgh Half Marathon: What can I say? This race is truly a religious experience for me and I love it from the bottom of my heart. I ran for Steel City Greyhounds again, which is a charity that helps give retired racing greyhounds their furever homes. I didn't PR this year, but only came in a few minutes over what I ran in 2013, so I can't complain. The weather was great, though - not too hot and it sprinkled a little bit which was actually quite nice. I look forward to the Pittsburgh marathon every year and I have a hard time putting into words what it's like to run through the city you love so much while thousands of people line the streets to cheer you on. Every year, I look forward to seeing what I'll get handed when I pass through Southside. Last year it was a handful of warm, sticky gummy bears & this year it was about 10 of those plastic leis you get at party supply stores. I think we all realized how disgusting those feel once they start to get sweaty, though - and everyone started shedding them on the Birmingham Bridge. 

Warrior Dash: And finally, the race I fell in love with 3 years ago. Warrior Dash is something I so look forward to every year. I'm really happy that since Jim & I initially ran it, our little warrior family has grown and now stands at 6 strong. There is just something about the vibe of this run that makes me so happy the second I step out of the car at Clay's Park Resort. We did up the ante with custom shirts this year, and man - that slide at the end added a whole new level of "HOLY CRAP" to the race. 

 

It was pretty cool that the pictures were free this year. They were previously offered through Sport Photo & if anyone has ever bought a Sport Photo picture, you know how freaking expensive they are. We're talking like $25 for a 4x6, so this was pretty cool to get them for free. They did lose a bunch of the finisher pictures, which was kind of a bummer, but I guess I can't complain. We're already signed up for next year, so let the countdown begin!

Plenty of races coming up in these next couple months, so stay tuned! I love running in the Fall, so I tried to squeeze as many in as I could. Patiently waiting for Freaky 5k registration to open, too :)

Keep Running!

Kelli

Back to Blogging

Well it's been quite a little while, hasn't it, friends?

I have a weird relationship with blogging. When I'm into it, I'm super into it. Like I wanna blog about every freaking thing I do and I have no issues with meticulously crafting a post for an hour. But then I just kind of fall off the wagon after awhile. I'm doing blog-worthy things, but organizing all of those thoughts and uploading pictures and such just feels downright tedious.

From being in the blogging world for a little over 5 years now, I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I've closely followed several blogs over the years, and all of them have periods of time where they lose steam. Some of them close their doors for good, and others make their comeback whenever they're ready. With my last blog - it was really clear to me that I was done beauty blogging after it's 2 year-run. It was fun, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. When I lost steam with RunKelliRun a little over a year ago, I wasn't really ready to let it go. I had a feeling that I would be back here, and I think I'm finally ready to be a runner blogger again.

I'll admit that last year was crazy. My training was a lot less intense because we bought a house in September & everything after that was kind of a whirlwind. My mind really was not in running mode at all. I still managed to do a decent amount of races, but right now I feel like I'm mentally where I was 2 years ago when I was at my peak. I've got a ton of races on the agenda & hitting the trail has never felt better.

So I really am excited to document this year's journey & hopefully report on tons of progress and PR's in the process. Thanks for sticking with me & as always, keep running!

MuckFest, JR Taylor 5k & What's Been Going On

First of all, yes you're not dreaming. I really am updating the blog. I apologize for being incredibly lazy in terms of updating the blog last month. I still have so many fun product reviews that need to go up (yurbuds, cablebuds, strength tape, action wipes, dry goods spray, etc etc etc...), but I figured I would update you on two of my favorite runs from last month.

MuckFest was Memorial Day weekend in Wampum, PA. It was a 5 mile mud run that was full of obstacles, mud pits, trails & even a mine. While it was INCREDIBLY cold that morning (especially for late May!), my boyfriend & I had an absolute blast at this race. I particularly enjoyed the "thunder storm" obstacle where you had to crawl through a shallow lake with a tarp just about a foot over the water. Underneath, there were strobe lights to look like lightening & they were BLASTING "thunderstruck" by AC/DC. It was hilarious & awesome and totally made you forget that the water was 30 degrees.

I will say that there were a few obstacles that made you say "oh s#it" when you approached them (the main ones being the jump off of the eight foot platform into mystery water & the "spinner" which was a giant contraption with ropes hanging off of it that you had to hang onto for dear life as it spun you over a giant moat), but it wasn't anything too scary or insane. I absolutely love these runs, they're so positive and uplifting and everyone there is so motivational. I will definitely do MuckFest next year & I encourage anyone to participate if its coming to your area. You can learn more about it here.

Luckily they let you jump into a pool almost right at the end so you don't have too much caked on mud after you're done. They also had a pretty efficient clean up station & tents that you could get changed in. Although that tent was one of the top ten weirdest experiences of my life.

p.s. you got two free beers after the race.. not one. two.

incentive.

We just did the recreational wave, which was still timed with a chip timer but you didn't have to worry about any insane hotchos plowing through the obstacles and smacking you in the face. I ended up finishing 75th out of like 500-some women who participated - so I was really happy with that. The race was 5 miles & we ended up finishing in an hour and 22 minutes or so. I think all together there were about 15 obstacles throughout the course.

***

The next race that I feel is rather noteworthy from my month off from blogging is the JR Taylor 5k which is held in Bethel Park, PA. I ran this race with two of my dancers (I'm also a dance teacher for those of you who didn't know) & I was happy to be a part of their first 5k.

The race was held on the Montour Trail out that way & it was the first truly STINKIN' HOT race that I ran this year so far. I knew it'd be here sooner or later, so I guess it's good that I got it over with. The course also ended up being over 3.1 miles which is always kind of annoying - especially when you're shooting for a certain time. It ended up being just about 3.6 miles & I finished right around 30 minutes. Some areas were shaded & others were in direct, scorching sunlight.. I told the girls that they should be proud to finish in weather like that, because it was pretty brutal that morning.

While they were not the fastest individuals there (I'll spare them the exact time being posted for all to see), they had a good time & I think I may be able to convince them to get back out there for another one sometime soon. To me, that's what it's all about. Knowing you inspired someone to run for any reason is really great, and I was really proud of them for crossing the finish line. I will say that too many people let the term "race" intimidate them. Sign up for a 5k if you want to be more active. Walk it, run it, jog it - do whatever. These two were really hesitant about the idea at first & I am so happy they trusted me and went. 

Although I think they just went for the free bagels afterwards, but whatever :)

My next goal is getting them through a mud run...

wish me luck.

Keep Running,

Kelli

The Pittsburgh Half Marathon

So over the weekend I ran my second half marathon ever right here in the city that I love so much. This was my first go-around with the Pittsburgh half marathon & I am really happy to say that I had a GREAT experience. I might be a little biased since I was born & raised here,  but this was one of the most fun, energetic races I've ever run in my life with (hands down) the best spectators.

I decided to run for charity & the charity I chose was Steel City Greyhounds. I'm sure most of you know by now that I'm the proud owner of an Italian Greyhound myself (Luna) & my aunt actually adopted a retired racer (Ice) from Steel City a few years ago. They promote the adoption of retired racing greyhounds & they ensure they go to fantastic, loving homes. 

They're a fantastic organization run by fantastic people & I was really quite proud to represent them and their beautiful dogs.

They also hooked their charity runners up with some awesome gear & a handful of racers were on hand at the expo to work the crowd. I made sure to wear my SCG shirt to the expo & (obviously) had to stop and say hi to some 40 mph couch potatoes. Roger (black & white dog above) was my favorite even though he was more interested in holding his mom's hands than taking a picture with me! 

The expo was great, too. It was really crowded, but there were a ton of vendors there & I ended up finding some really sweet Pittsburgh gear to run in on Sunday. Swag bags were nice, too. I was pretty into the Red Bull Red edition that was in there. I'm usually not a fan of energy drinks but that thing actually tasted really good.

My ensemble on Sunday consisted of a shirt and shorts from Fresh Factory which is located here in Pittsburgh. The "Yinz Run Like Jagoffs" shirt is pretty much my favorite shirt of all time now. I freaking love anything that has to do with Pittsburgh quirks. I also wore my Boston Strong BIC Band which I ordered online a few weeks ago when they were released. They're $12 & 100% of the proceeds are donated to the One Fund. You can purchase them here. I've always loved BIC Bands, so this was a no-brainer for me.

The course of this race was really great until the very end. Running through the west end & the south side were probably my favorites. My family & boyfriend were in the west end, and the south side was just so much fun. There were people handing out gummy worms & the signs there were cracking me up. I hope people who come out and support runners know how much they are GENUINELY appreciated. I high fived everyone with their hand out and I made sure to smile at people that made eye contact with me. Even the guy who was simply saying "WELCOME TO THE WEST END" and giving everyone a thumbs up made me happy. It was an awesome, awesome atmosphere & it just further proves the point that Pittsburghers are awesome people.

Running over the bridges was totally awesome, too. It's just a really unique experience overall that I think only Pittsburgh can offer.

The last 3 miles of the race, however, were a total and absolute buzzkill. Apparently the course has changed over the years & a hill was added in the last stretch of the half. While it doesn't look like a super steep slope, it's a gradual incline that goes on for far, far too long. The rest of the course is relatively flat (a few slopes), but nothing quite like the end. A young man actually died at mile 12 this year, and many are saying that course elevation may have played a role. It makes me so sad to know that something like that happened at what was supposed to be such a celebration. I hope that race organizers consider making a change next year.

Jim (my boyfriend) made me a pretty amazing sign that said "Run Like Luna" (my italian greyhound) and he even drew an adorable little cartoon of her at the bottom. It brought a huge smile to my face at mile 8 :) 

I was very happy with my time (2:08) & I managed to shave about 20 minutes off of my half marathon PR since I ran my first back in November in Disney! Clearly my next goal is to finish under 2 - but I was absolutely happy with finishing so much faster than my first attempt at 13.1. I also have to say that I owe a lot of credit to Spider Tech Kineseology tape which I used on my knee & thigh. I had a strained muscle in my thigh from dance & my knee is always anti-social during my long distance runs. I experienced VERY little pain & I was absolutely shocked at how well this product worked. 

You can see my bionic blue leg in this mirror shot. If you have generic pain, I really recommend checking out their X Spiders ($30 for a 20 pack or $4 for a 2 pack) which are really versatile and can be put pretty much anywhere you're experiencing pain. Their pre-cut strips are also great for people like myself who can't just take a roll of kineseology tape and magically know how to apply it. I'm sure there are directions and stuff, but this was 4:30 in the morning & aint nobody got time for that. I managed to strap up my whole leg in like 5 minutes & I was good to go all day. So THANK YOU Spider Tech. You literally saved my ass.

Also, here is a link to the pre-cut upper knee tape I used. If you get knee pain while running, I would definitely recommend checking it out. I was a total non-believer in this stuff but I can now swear by the fact that it does work.

So thank you to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgers, Fresh Factory, Steel City Greyhounds, BIC Bands, Spider Tech, Jim, my family members, & all of the fantastic runners that made their way through the 'burgh on Sunday for making this one of the most memorable races ever. I truly had the time of my life.

Keep Running,

Kelli